THE INDIA - PAKISTAN RANT

mine is bigger than yours!

The never ending topic… which of us is better???? Who gives a flying fuck? Not long ago in Dubai, a fight broke out between my friends who used to hang out together, and launching an assault at each other’s egos (I was like a guest standing behind in this for 1ce). 1 dude broke out into the open to say these divine words, “I hate Pakistani’s” me and the other 2 Indians who where around where more shocked than the rest… where the fuck did that come from?? He went on, “I just can’t trust you guys (Pakistani’s), I have been backstabbed by too many off you”. I couldn’t resist this, “what the fuck you talking about, did they run away with a million dollars of yours?” what could he possibly mean trust…… I DON’T TRUST ANYONE IN THIS WORLD . That doesn’t mean ill start stereotyping people the way I want to just because this path has been followed by many before. The fucker is in College, did Pakistani’s come and do his parents behind his back? Anyway within a while one of the girls got a bit too emotional and the case rested there. But then my Pakistani friends took it upon themselves to split the hang out gang b/w 2 and to take the piss out of the guy upon making such a bold statement and apparently to hate him for the rest of their lives. I still crack up just like that day. Thinking about it….

I am not a social bastard; neither do I give a lughole thought about states/countries/continents, but I do have to hand it to you asswipes for creating a “hellofa something” out of a nothing:

THEY TOOK AWAY OUR LAND:

“Our”, if your reading this blog then you couldn’t have been around during the split because most of those people are dead. You didn’t even know how that place looked, felt and what’s it grown up to now. So how is it yours? Think about it. The only actual people who ever do suffer today due to partition are the people of Kashmir.

The only probable reason for the unprecedented hate can be because all of us do need something to grab and shake when we can. For Indians its Pakistani’s and vice versa. You’re pissed, wife fucking beats the crap out of you, dog pisses all over at you and you get struck by a bolt of lightning, who better to take it out than your “own” created enemy. Here is the catch and it’s the best of all, you don’t need a reason to hate someone. You do it just because your friends, priests, family and the whole god for shaken country do the same…hell yeah!

THEY WANT TO NUKE US:

my bodyguard has got a six pack.

I don’t think you deserve any better. Both sides have there own laughable share of bullshit taking place and after a lot of this piling up, it has lead to the nuke race. If you really do want to compete, compete with THE REST OF THE WORLD. Oh I forgot, your balls freeze whenever that happens, (Olympics, Cricket, life, etc) and end up complaining each other for the downfall.

5 things which Pakistan have got the upperhand on:

1. Expert Knowledge: Every literate Pakistani who I have ever met has such different opinion on the system Pakistan is running on. Guess it wont be long till we see half of them taking true legislative forms.

2. Political lifestyle: Pakistani politicians do enjoy this fruitfully, during a national meeting Navar Shareef asked his Defence Minister, “Khane Mai Aj Nehari To bani Hai na?”

it chow time!!!!!

3. Hands on Challenge: Ready to roll 24/7/52. In a toastmaster meeting during a speech, a Lahori doctor said this, “With India over 1 Billion, humph and they think the can compete with us”, me and probably 25 other Indians who witnessed this jubilant approach to whoop ass.

4. Fuck Education, Go for Glory: Pakistani education system, (national one). Has been short listed by Financial Times as “Standard” after 45 years. But what?? I want to be a hustler instead… the big Karachi Pimp... Knowwhatiamsayin????

5. Drinks First: Pakistan is the only Islamic Nation, which has a full blown underground “tharra” production of Wiskey, Rum etc. for military use and anyone who has black tinted cars.

5 Things which India Has the UpperHand on:

1. Regions: An Indian can look from anywhere b/w North to South pole. Great Camouflage.

Pride

2. Work Cheap Rates: A Chartered Accountant who could get up to 15,000 dhrms in Middle east 2 years ago would now get 5000, thanks to the cut short competition bought buy our brothers from south India. Who can slave till death.

3. Morally immaculate: On my way back from university, I took a private taxi, you wave around long enough and someone whose going your direction can stop and will be willing to drop you, as long as you chip in a bit. He was an Indian and after talking for a while, I asked if I could smoke, he looked at me like I confessed to murder and kicked me out of the car!!!!

4. Interstate Rivalry: Kerala v Tamil Nadu, U.P V Bihar, Punjab V Hariyana etc.

5. Call Centers: Mr. Dutt and Mrs. Mirta are now Mr. Smith and Ms. Hunt.

THIS IS GREAT>>>> JST GREAT

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