Thursday, July 05, 2007

ALUCARD from Hellsing (bored as shit time):

Heermm ... bored as shit and don't want to post any more filthy rants (for a while)... So i drew Aluchard from hellsing... why am i putting this??? well thats cause like the rest of my companionways... this blog is better dead now... and whenever mood will generate.. posting will start again...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006


SPECIAL NOTE: Due to past acknowledgment and for the betterment f future on the horizon… I thus now can dub the picture of my own self making an animistic face instead of the old Lucifer. Its pointless as it is, 99.9% of the people who visit this site know me as I am. So who does give a flying fuck if I have lifted a veil which covers a façade…..of my own self?


In the last 4 days I have had over 50 calls from 12 different companies, begging me to join them on a new deal which they so offer for free. I was well annoyed from before and it really does get to me, when you pretend to be John while your Kumar instead. “hello, am I speaking to the owner of this house”…… “nope, you are speaking to the house!”… “Ok, sir I am Jim, I would like to get you to be interest in a deal we are going to offer to you that is from Vodafone”…… “Huh?” … “Sir, which mobile phone company are you using now?”… “I do not use a mobile phone, as the matter of fact.. I don’t know what it is..if its some sort of technology the last thing that I used from communication was to stick an antenna up my crack, bend over and send Morse code by passing the poison gas in a shinning fashion…!”…. (a moment of silence)…. “but sir, we would like to offer you this deal for free” I start howl laughing, thinking about my bum charging me… and hung up on that cheap tricks face.. After an hour the phone rings yet again…. “Hello sir, Am I speaking to Mr. Saunders (owner of the flat I am renting)… “No this is his father speaking (trying to voice mask as old as I can sound)… how may I help??”… (A moment of silence).. “well sir actually the reason I called you is because actually we have a deal going and its from Vodaphone… stop there ........VODAPHONE again, sons of bitches have nothing better to do than to end old peoples lives by phoning them to death…. Sir are you listening? (Inquisitive female voice)”… “Oh yes yes dear I am.. Do go on”..

After another 15 mins or so… “So sir would you like to become a part of our deal”.. “Sorry love, but I cannot understand a bloody thing you just said for the last 20 minutes.. My doctor told me, that I need new pair of ears, but to hell with that, I personally think however its because of me not having sex for the last 30 years has physically affect my nerves, unhinging chords which connect it to the ear drums… oh how good it would be… (2 seconds break) to make love again... Tell me something love… are you married... (Before she could speak)… I bet you to have a lovely time in the bed at such ripping age as you sound (Asian girl gasp)... I bet you a complete tigress… (She hung up)…

I really didn’t want to do that to her… but her out of all the bitches and bastards in various call centers should understand how hard it is for a guy to example... Take a dump, shower, bath, drink etc… in the starting time period of there calls I had argued, abused, mentally challenged many of them… but they usually replied.. “its our job sir, to care or some crap”… firstly, If I wanted to and be good for an offer I would want to be willingly (at least a percent) interested in the deal… Secondly, Care for fuck sake… I don’t need to be cared about how to pass advances to buy a new nokia cell phone… care for fucking what, you wankers?... about how you would be able to show you quarterly sales figures to your supervisors and me ending in a dead lock contract..

Friday, December 08, 2006


Light air soaks us in tonight,
Past days spend with family at wintertime
The head nudges and scratchy scratchy versatility
How I miss this I do not let out right,
Light… the active… shape the ocean which surrounds us,
Moon …the crescent….makes you look sublime................

Light air will soak us tomorrow,
Comprehend not that we have
But ourselves
Don’t glance something in and around,
We both have been beaten and hurt
I did miss out “our” birth……..
The tide has turned and brings new sorrows

Light air will soak out blood,
We are enclosed within swarms of fins,
Hold my hands now tight as I hold your neck
.. And never take you eyes off mine
I have to liberate you off this tyrant……

While you did leave,
Light air will soak me dry………

Tuesday, October 31, 2006


Sorry folks... there ant going to be any new posts for the next whole month till december middle, go through my past posts to find out more about stuff which you havent discovered!

antisocial dipshits..... STOP MAILING me cribbing about how i got the Indian system wrong... it ant going to work....these are rants and are meant to be taken lightly instead of up the ass....

Monday, October 16, 2006

INDIAN PARENTIAL ABUSE RANT: missing in modern lives.....

Yesterday, I and a Nigerian friend of mine went to play snooker at a pool place near my house. After playing for a while, a gang of Indian kids showed up to take a crack at the balls too. They did not look any older than 15 and howled loudly, fought for their turn to take a shot and wrestled with each other. Even when sudden outburst occurred between them no one did care much. Cause like me, every at this age did the same.. after a while 1 among the whipping boys took out a pack of cigarettes. He screamed, “Oye, who wants to smoke a fag”. Some looked at him and a couple of them reach into the soft pack of Dunhill Lights, as those have being given grenades by a captain. They know they can blow themselves up or survive and come out clean. Today they where going to blow! After lighting it up and taking a few drags without inhaling, what happened next took the whole place by shock. Apparently one of the whipping boys father had been following them around and was checking up on them. He busted in the place, like Katrina, the boys didn’t know what the fuck to do. 2 of them threw the “fags” on the floors and stamped hard which would put a forest fire out. He grabbed 1 which I was a certian was his son as he was frozen stiff and slapped him. By this time the rest of the lads busted out excluding 1 who stood by watching in horror. He continued whacking him as he bended over to refuge and save as much of him as he could. He then grabbed the kid and took him over to the counter and looked behind at the other kid who was standing around him, “COME”. As he dragged him across the wooden floor to the counter where the manger was waiting for him, he knew what was coming, 1 could make out just by looking at his relaxed posture as he leaned his whole self onto the counter. “What kind of a business are you running”, the father demanded. “Come by again” the manger replied with an inquisitive jack on his face. “How can you allow him to smoke his only bloody 13” SLAP on the kids face, “he will grow up into a two good for nothing crook and by looking that no one does care about that. You all have responsibilities as adults” SLAP again. “look mate, I didn’t realize that they where smoking and even if he was I cant do much as they would not pay and leave” the manager now standing up straight, He was boldly honest and the father realized this too. He stormed out like the fart in the wind, with both kids tailgating him. I was the only one laughing after that, my Nigerian friend thought it was too “physical”.. "Nope" when I look back at what all I and my old skool friends went through this was but a strand of a thin hair.

I think beating kids is necessary and I didn’t mind what the father did to "his own" kid. Like holi, dewali and eid. Indians also enjoy the luxury of beating there kids when they go out of line or not so out of line and due to the globalization (social awareness) this is becoming less and less. Children are a pain and after cleaning shit, dealing with issues which would make you laugh at first but will bring anyone down to the ground on all fours, you have to deal with ever increasing demands. Children do not think rationally until they are 20 (usually). All parents to approach a non physical way of handling kids is unthinkible, most are not supernanny and when frustrated it might be the most important way to reach out and make a child understand that you do mean business. I was punched, kicked, thrown, shamed, stoned, slapped, ran over and scratched when I was a kid by Parents, Relatives, Uncles and Aunties and I thank them for it as I would have never learned most human ways of life. My friends got the same coming to there way and like me they knew that at most it was there own crap which bought the best out of them.

5 BEATING BASICS: want to give a hand out to your kid but just do not know the right approach, look at the following few:

Indian Slipper: Can be used in various situations. Eg. kid comes in and says, “she might be pregnant, I want cash for smoke fucking dope”. Bata and other Indian brands usually have a prefect blend of rubber and polystyrene to pack a wallop! Choose side carefully before the strike as accurate angle creates apt brand marks on you kids face to warn others not to screw around.

Stick Yard: Can be found in most backyard gardens and in monsoons, extra bonus, wet. Sick of hearing your kids crib about _______. (Food, school, grandparents, milk tooth), the Y. stick lasts a couple of strokes after which they break, but does enough to send the message across.

The EK DO CHUP RAKHO!: This is great approach to use outside. Eg while shopping, kid can make life horrible. Give them a hard slap and before they can break down to cry, slap then again! This way they know you mean business and they get the right amount of beating.

Steering Wheel Reach: while driving, reach out with 1 hand to grab the kid when acting hostile. Try grabbing his friend if companioned. Swerve car in angles for extra effect.

Cane Intercept: If too Old. No sweat, while the kid tries to run away, bring him down with the tip of your cane. Then, poke him on the head; few times to show him who the boss is!!!

If more needed, then ask any of your Indian Parental Friends around. They will hand you the manual for once in a lifetime solution
much credits: Maddox

Sunday, October 15, 2006

End of a beginning............................

If I die and never wake again
let this world know for I abandoned humanity,
Ever since I became human
My hate and fear worked together
solitude remained the only solution.
Wherever I traveled to I did not "fit in"
People cursed me and left me to disintegrate
I will always have this sick mind,
Does my life have any to your contribution?
I sit now, unwilling and fair,
If I cover my fathers shadow... will I be entire?
failed in life... "that" eternity
talking in mirror, self manipulation -
- that I have someone on my side
In this length of a moment, I have grown
could "no one" say a word and let me know
so I could wake end this confrontation
As you read these lines of a life
I look at you, in this moment and beg
Do not leave me here………………………..

Thursday, October 12, 2006



Of all the horrible things that Indian television feeds in this era the worst have to be those dipshit soap operas which are on 24/7 in family circus channels like Star + and zee t.v. I really don’t think Indian soaps actually sucked ass this bad before. With tacky one liners, miserable castings and ball grinding screen play, one can even start missing the shit eating days of “zabhan shamal ke”( a ghastly Indian retake of the English sitcom: mind your language). When I have been forced, I either end up cracking up more than others realizing how stoned you have to be to direct and produce something this obscene or either head butting the t.v. for all the directors, producers, writers, actors, spot boys, watchers of Indian sit-coms, I have but 1 word for you: GENOCIDE.



A few days ago, I was cornered and made to watch “Baa Bahoo Aur Baby”. The new killer soap opera of the star plus arsenal, after watching the show I ended throwing up in the bathroom, I didn’t need booze, smack, marijuana or cocaine to “feel lifted”, this whole program is such a bitch of a trip it is.

The plot of it is to make watchers crawl through 30 mins of complete agony, squeeze the life out of their eyes by flashing god like illumination that that make an x ray machine blush, compress an hour of advert in between the running time and to end up exactly where the program kicked off, so it can be recycled up and packed for the next week. What’s gets me more interested in raving about this show is the on screen portrayal and the way “the crew” have been vividly chosen to fit an all star series:


Baa (godmother): As apparent from her face she’s I hard hitting feline bitch, but has a soft corner (sometimes) for the family personnel’s and turns into a pooch. I liked to think that the producer was trying to show here, how ill Indian females look when they move to feminism.

COMES. our only salvation cums from within.

The three Bahu: unlike most Indian approaches to demented feline bahus. Who fight at any unknowing reason, these three team up to kick some domestic butt, inter competitional races, to make baa proud and all tops up with tears of joy, kinky approach’s to on screen hubbies and erotic lesbian 1 liners. Eg, “kash apki parchai marai upar pad jati to merie sari cummi katham ho jati”(if your shadow who strike thy then thou would cum!)


Baby: In every Indian soap opera, a cripple has to be around to get mid aged females/ homosexuals tears on every handicapped downfall of these smuts. Eg, That metal fuck from Apaharan and Jassi, (metal braces). Indian viewers are to blamed for this as they get too fucking emotional every time someone on screen gets picked lightly by other “villans” (branded as baddies for the rest of there lives! If seen on street can be chased by viewer formed gangs and outcome can be fatal, even resulting in his/her death), but when it comes to normal crippled who roam around in millions in real life, a 5 rupee note can be hard to find. Shit!

little fuck

Gattu: The shadow lead role, if a crippled didn’t do it for you in this show to get a fix, take a look at the 30 turned 13 psycho. He is the bastardized version of Willy Wanka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory and Leonardo Di Caprio from What’s eating Gilberts Grapes. If there was a single most person I would like to blow by shoving gallons of Helium up the ass and torching it, that would be him!

The only way to solve this sick problem known as “baa bahu and baby” would be to replace the show with a 30 min no break action show which will feature all related members of it: actor, directors, thela wala and viewers to be tortured physically on screen live! knifing , slapping, hanging should be regular. Not only would violence build Indian peoples characters. It would also satisfy millions of souls and promise them a safe slumber for eternity.