Wednesday, December 20, 2006

THE IMPOTENT CALL CENTER'S RANT:

SPECIAL NOTE: Due to past acknowledgment and for the betterment f future on the horizon… I thus now can dub the picture of my own self making an animistic face instead of the old Lucifer. Its pointless as it is, 99.9% of the people who visit this site know me as I am. So who does give a flying fuck if I have lifted a veil which covers a façade…..of my own self?

HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES???!!

In the last 4 days I have had over 50 calls from 12 different companies, begging me to join them on a new deal which they so offer for free. I was well annoyed from before and it really does get to me, when you pretend to be John while your Kumar instead. “hello, am I speaking to the owner of this house”…… “nope, you are speaking to the house!”… “Ok, sir I am Jim, I would like to get you to be interest in a deal we are going to offer to you that is from Vodafone”…… “Huh?” … “Sir, which mobile phone company are you using now?”… “I do not use a mobile phone, as the matter of fact.. I don’t know what it is..if its some sort of technology the last thing that I used from communication was to stick an antenna up my crack, bend over and send Morse code by passing the poison gas in a shinning fashion…!”…. (a moment of silence)…. “but sir, we would like to offer you this deal for free” I start howl laughing, thinking about my bum charging me… and hung up on that cheap tricks face.. After an hour the phone rings yet again…. “Hello sir, Am I speaking to Mr. Saunders (owner of the flat I am renting)… “No this is his father speaking (trying to voice mask as old as I can sound)… how may I help??”… (A moment of silence).. “well sir actually the reason I called you is because actually we have a deal going and its from Vodaphone… stop there ........VODAPHONE again, sons of bitches have nothing better to do than to end old peoples lives by phoning them to death…. Sir are you listening? (Inquisitive female voice)”… “Oh yes yes dear I am.. Do go on”..

After another 15 mins or so… “So sir would you like to become a part of our deal”.. “Sorry love, but I cannot understand a bloody thing you just said for the last 20 minutes.. My doctor told me, that I need new pair of ears, but to hell with that, I personally think however its because of me not having sex for the last 30 years has physically affect my nerves, unhinging chords which connect it to the ear drums… oh how good it would be… (2 seconds break) to make love again... Tell me something love… are you married... (Before she could speak)… I bet you to have a lovely time in the bed at such ripping age as you sound (Asian girl gasp)... I bet you a complete tigress… (She hung up)…

I really didn’t want to do that to her… but her out of all the bitches and bastards in various call centers should understand how hard it is for a guy to example... Take a dump, shower, bath, drink etc… in the starting time period of there calls I had argued, abused, mentally challenged many of them… but they usually replied.. “its our job sir, to care or some crap”… firstly, If I wanted to and be good for an offer I would want to be willingly (at least a percent) interested in the deal… Secondly, Care for fuck sake… I don’t need to be cared about how to pass advances to buy a new nokia cell phone… care for fucking what, you wankers?... about how you would be able to show you quarterly sales figures to your supervisors and me ending in a dead lock contract..

3 Comments:

Blogger Kartik said...

haha, fuck you write well man, man everyone has had some of these killer conversations with call center staff, but i've never actually ripped them the way you did. Classy man very funny!

12:08 AM  
Blogger Anamika Anyone said...

Wow.. That many calls,huh?

2:48 AM  
Blogger indian lucifer said...

Kartik: thnks... yeah start chilling with the Indian Lucifer and expect no less.. I am fucking world class act :-P

Animika: Yeah that many... but its going down now... i wonder y

5:54 AM  

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