INDIAN PARENTIAL ABUSE RANT: missing in modern lives.....



Yesterday, I and a Nigerian friend of mine went to play snooker at a pool place near my house. After playing for a while, a gang of Indian kids showed up to take a crack at the balls too. They did not look any older than 15 and howled loudly, fought for their turn to take a shot and wrestled with each other. Even when sudden outburst occurred between them no one did care much. Cause like me, every at this age did the same.. after a while 1 among the whipping boys took out a pack of cigarettes. He screamed, “Oye, who wants to smoke a fag”. Some looked at him and a couple of them reach into the soft pack of Dunhill Lights, as those have being given grenades by a captain. They know they can blow themselves up or survive and come out clean. Today they where going to blow! After lighting it up and taking a few drags without inhaling, what happened next took the whole place by shock. Apparently one of the whipping boys father had been following them around and was checking up on them. He busted in the place, like Katrina, the boys didn’t know what the fuck to do. 2 of them threw the “fags” on the floors and stamped hard which would put a forest fire out. He grabbed 1 which I was a certian was his son as he was frozen stiff and slapped him. By this time the rest of the lads busted out excluding 1 who stood by watching in horror. He continued whacking him as he bended over to refuge and save as much of him as he could. He then grabbed the kid and took him over to the counter and looked behind at the other kid who was standing around him, “COME”. As he dragged him across the wooden floor to the counter where the manger was waiting for him, he knew what was coming, 1 could make out just by looking at his relaxed posture as he leaned his whole self onto the counter. “What kind of a business are you running”, the father demanded. “Come by again” the manger replied with an inquisitive jack on his face. “How can you allow him to smoke his only bloody 13” SLAP on the kids face, “he will grow up into a two good for nothing crook and by looking that no one does care about that. You all have responsibilities as adults” SLAP again. “look mate, I didn’t realize that they where smoking and even if he was I cant do much as they would not pay and leave” the manager now standing up straight, He was boldly honest and the father realized this too. He stormed out like the fart in the wind, with both kids tailgating him. I was the only one laughing after that, my Nigerian friend thought it was too “physical”.. "Nope" when I look back at what all I and my old skool friends went through this was but a strand of a thin hair.



I think beating kids is necessary and I didn’t mind what the father did to "his own" kid. Like holi, dewali and eid. Indians also enjoy the luxury of beating there kids when they go out of line or not so out of line and due to the globalization (social awareness) this is becoming less and less. Children are a pain and after cleaning shit, dealing with issues which would make you laugh at first but will bring anyone down to the ground on all fours, you have to deal with ever increasing demands. Children do not think rationally until they are 20 (usually). All parents to approach a non physical way of handling kids is unthinkible, most are not supernanny and when frustrated it might be the most important way to reach out and make a child understand that you do mean business. I was punched, kicked, thrown, shamed, stoned, slapped, ran over and scratched when I was a kid by Parents, Relatives, Uncles and Aunties and I thank them for it as I would have never learned most human ways of life. My friends got the same coming to there way and like me they knew that at most it was there own crap which bought the best out of them.

5 BEATING BASICS: want to give a hand out to your kid but just do not know the right approach, look at the following few:



Indian Slipper: Can be used in various situations. Eg. kid comes in and says, “she might be pregnant, I want cash for smoke fucking dope”. Bata and other Indian brands usually have a prefect blend of rubber and polystyrene to pack a wallop! Choose side carefully before the strike as accurate angle creates apt brand marks on you kids face to warn others not to screw around.



Stick Yard: Can be found in most backyard gardens and in monsoons, extra bonus, wet. Sick of hearing your kids crib about _______. (Food, school, grandparents, milk tooth), the Y. stick lasts a couple of strokes after which they break, but does enough to send the message across.

The EK DO CHUP RAKHO!: This is great approach to use outside. Eg while shopping, kid can make life horrible. Give them a hard slap and before they can break down to cry, slap then again! This way they know you mean business and they get the right amount of beating.

Steering Wheel Reach: while driving, reach out with 1 hand to grab the kid when acting hostile. Try grabbing his friend if companioned. Swerve car in angles for extra effect.

Cane Intercept: If too Old. No sweat, while the kid tries to run away, bring him down with the tip of your cane. Then, poke him on the head; few times to show him who the boss is!!!

If more needed, then ask any of your Indian Parental Friends around. They will hand you the manual for once in a lifetime solution
much credits: Maddox