NO NEW POSTS:

Sorry folks... there ant going to be any new posts for the next whole month till december middle, go through my past posts to find out more about stuff which you havent discovered!

antisocial dipshits..... STOP MAILING me cribbing about how i got the Indian system wrong... it ant going to work....these are rants and are meant to be taken lightly instead of up the ass....

INDIAN PARENTIAL ABUSE RANT: missing in modern lives.....



Yesterday, I and a Nigerian friend of mine went to play snooker at a pool place near my house. After playing for a while, a gang of Indian kids showed up to take a crack at the balls too. They did not look any older than 15 and howled loudly, fought for their turn to take a shot and wrestled with each other. Even when sudden outburst occurred between them no one did care much. Cause like me, every at this age did the same.. after a while 1 among the whipping boys took out a pack of cigarettes. He screamed, “Oye, who wants to smoke a fag”. Some looked at him and a couple of them reach into the soft pack of Dunhill Lights, as those have being given grenades by a captain. They know they can blow themselves up or survive and come out clean. Today they where going to blow! After lighting it up and taking a few drags without inhaling, what happened next took the whole place by shock. Apparently one of the whipping boys father had been following them around and was checking up on them. He busted in the place, like Katrina, the boys didn’t know what the fuck to do. 2 of them threw the “fags” on the floors and stamped hard which would put a forest fire out. He grabbed 1 which I was a certian was his son as he was frozen stiff and slapped him. By this time the rest of the lads busted out excluding 1 who stood by watching in horror. He continued whacking him as he bended over to refuge and save as much of him as he could. He then grabbed the kid and took him over to the counter and looked behind at the other kid who was standing around him, “COME”. As he dragged him across the wooden floor to the counter where the manger was waiting for him, he knew what was coming, 1 could make out just by looking at his relaxed posture as he leaned his whole self onto the counter. “What kind of a business are you running”, the father demanded. “Come by again” the manger replied with an inquisitive jack on his face. “How can you allow him to smoke his only bloody 13” SLAP on the kids face, “he will grow up into a two good for nothing crook and by looking that no one does care about that. You all have responsibilities as adults” SLAP again. “look mate, I didn’t realize that they where smoking and even if he was I cant do much as they would not pay and leave” the manager now standing up straight, He was boldly honest and the father realized this too. He stormed out like the fart in the wind, with both kids tailgating him. I was the only one laughing after that, my Nigerian friend thought it was too “physical”.. "Nope" when I look back at what all I and my old skool friends went through this was but a strand of a thin hair.



I think beating kids is necessary and I didn’t mind what the father did to "his own" kid. Like holi, dewali and eid. Indians also enjoy the luxury of beating there kids when they go out of line or not so out of line and due to the globalization (social awareness) this is becoming less and less. Children are a pain and after cleaning shit, dealing with issues which would make you laugh at first but will bring anyone down to the ground on all fours, you have to deal with ever increasing demands. Children do not think rationally until they are 20 (usually). All parents to approach a non physical way of handling kids is unthinkible, most are not supernanny and when frustrated it might be the most important way to reach out and make a child understand that you do mean business. I was punched, kicked, thrown, shamed, stoned, slapped, ran over and scratched when I was a kid by Parents, Relatives, Uncles and Aunties and I thank them for it as I would have never learned most human ways of life. My friends got the same coming to there way and like me they knew that at most it was there own crap which bought the best out of them.

5 BEATING BASICS: want to give a hand out to your kid but just do not know the right approach, look at the following few:



Indian Slipper: Can be used in various situations. Eg. kid comes in and says, “she might be pregnant, I want cash for smoke fucking dope”. Bata and other Indian brands usually have a prefect blend of rubber and polystyrene to pack a wallop! Choose side carefully before the strike as accurate angle creates apt brand marks on you kids face to warn others not to screw around.



Stick Yard: Can be found in most backyard gardens and in monsoons, extra bonus, wet. Sick of hearing your kids crib about _______. (Food, school, grandparents, milk tooth), the Y. stick lasts a couple of strokes after which they break, but does enough to send the message across.

The EK DO CHUP RAKHO!: This is great approach to use outside. Eg while shopping, kid can make life horrible. Give them a hard slap and before they can break down to cry, slap then again! This way they know you mean business and they get the right amount of beating.

Steering Wheel Reach: while driving, reach out with 1 hand to grab the kid when acting hostile. Try grabbing his friend if companioned. Swerve car in angles for extra effect.

Cane Intercept: If too Old. No sweat, while the kid tries to run away, bring him down with the tip of your cane. Then, poke him on the head; few times to show him who the boss is!!!

If more needed, then ask any of your Indian Parental Friends around. They will hand you the manual for once in a lifetime solution
much credits: Maddox

End of a beginning............................


If I die and never wake again
let this world know for I abandoned humanity,
Ever since I became human
My hate and fear worked together
solitude remained the only solution.
Wherever I traveled to I did not "fit in"
People cursed me and left me to disintegrate
I will always have this sick mind,
Does my life have any to your contribution?
I sit now, unwilling and fair,
If I cover my fathers shadow... will I be entire?
failed in life... "that" eternity
talking in mirror, self manipulation -
- that I have someone on my side
In this length of a moment, I have grown
could "no one" say a word and let me know
so I could wake end this confrontation
As you read these lines of a life
I look at you, in this moment and beg
Do not leave me here………………………..

THE INDIAN SOAP OPERA RANT:


THATS RIGHT MOFO~S, THIS IS THE "HIP" SHYT


Of all the horrible things that Indian television feeds in this era the worst have to be those dipshit soap operas which are on 24/7 in family circus channels like Star + and zee t.v. I really don’t think Indian soaps actually sucked ass this bad before. With tacky one liners, miserable castings and ball grinding screen play, one can even start missing the shit eating days of “zabhan shamal ke”( a ghastly Indian retake of the English sitcom: mind your language). When I have been forced, I either end up cracking up more than others realizing how stoned you have to be to direct and produce something this obscene or either head butting the t.v. for all the directors, producers, writers, actors, spot boys, watchers of Indian sit-coms, I have but 1 word for you: GENOCIDE.

SAAS, BAHU or SUB MACHINE GUN:


THAT WAS THE ACTUAL CAPTION PUT UP ON OFFICAL SITE

A few days ago, I was cornered and made to watch “Baa Bahoo Aur Baby”. The new killer soap opera of the star plus arsenal, after watching the show I ended throwing up in the bathroom, I didn’t need booze, smack, marijuana or cocaine to “feel lifted”, this whole program is such a bitch of a trip it is.

The plot of it is to make watchers crawl through 30 mins of complete agony, squeeze the life out of their eyes by flashing god like illumination that that make an x ray machine blush, compress an hour of advert in between the running time and to end up exactly where the program kicked off, so it can be recycled up and packed for the next week. What’s gets me more interested in raving about this show is the on screen portrayal and the way “the crew” have been vividly chosen to fit an all star series:


NOBAADY MESSES WITH THE FAMILY.

Baa (godmother): As apparent from her face she’s I hard hitting feline bitch, but has a soft corner (sometimes) for the family personnel’s and turns into a pooch. I liked to think that the producer was trying to show here, how ill Indian females look when they move to feminism.


QUICK! TAKE THIS UP UR ASS BEFORE THE FAMILY
COMES. our only salvation cums from within.

The three Bahu: unlike most Indian approaches to demented feline bahus. Who fight at any unknowing reason, these three team up to kick some domestic butt, inter competitional races, to make baa proud and all tops up with tears of joy, kinky approach’s to on screen hubbies and erotic lesbian 1 liners. Eg, “kash apki parchai marai upar pad jati to merie sari cummi katham ho jati”(if your shadow who strike thy then thou would cum!)


CRIPPLED SLUT

Baby: In every Indian soap opera, a cripple has to be around to get mid aged females/ homosexuals tears on every handicapped downfall of these smuts. Eg, That metal fuck from Apaharan and Jassi, (metal braces). Indian viewers are to blamed for this as they get too fucking emotional every time someone on screen gets picked lightly by other “villans” (branded as baddies for the rest of there lives! If seen on street can be chased by viewer formed gangs and outcome can be fatal, even resulting in his/her death), but when it comes to normal crippled who roam around in millions in real life, a 5 rupee note can be hard to find. Shit!


BLADDED FULL OF HOT FLITH, annoying
little fuck

Gattu: The shadow lead role, if a crippled didn’t do it for you in this show to get a fix, take a look at the 30 turned 13 psycho. He is the bastardized version of Willy Wanka from Charlie and the Chocolate factory and Leonardo Di Caprio from What’s eating Gilberts Grapes. If there was a single most person I would like to blow by shoving gallons of Helium up the ass and torching it, that would be him!

The only way to solve this sick problem known as “baa bahu and baby” would be to replace the show with a 30 min no break action show which will feature all related members of it: actor, directors, thela wala and viewers to be tortured physically on screen live! knifing , slapping, hanging should be regular. Not only would violence build Indian peoples characters. It would also satisfy millions of souls and promise them a safe slumber for eternity.

COMICS: UNENDING APPROACH TO RANTING

Apparently day before yesterday, I got my first “fan mail”. He stated that like me, he was a rant writer. And he really wants to know where I get my writing influences from… hmmm well my friend, there are three probable ways why I write the way I do:

1.I think like Lord Conwallis. (a lot)
2.My mother dropped me when I was a kid, or most importantly
3.I read a lot of comic and graphical novels

I know what you all are thinking… how does that contribute.. Well gimme a sec to explain:

I can recall the first time I actually bought 1. It was an invincible hulk issue. After reading through it, I could not but marvel at how much a single picture can represent. (I was 10). I started regularly buying other comics and graphical novels. My dad didn’t support this idea. Not because it had gore and violence beyond human understanding, but because it is really expensive in Middle East. Frustrated, I started enjoying tv again as much as I did before. On a monthly quota to buy a comic, one occasion I couldn’t find any of my marvel and dc heroes of which I usually used to reed, I asked the sales man and all he said was “barrah!”(out, of stock). I was a bit old now (13) and thought anti depressant was the only downhill course, until I turned back and saw an extraordinary cover for any comic I had faced till then, it was called “SANDMAN” and that’s when I stopped complaining….

If you actually believe the comic book depiction by Samuel “Shaft, Mace Vendal” Jackson in Unbreakable, your wrong! Comic books do not pass generational information form one set to the other; neither do they actually show the true fight b/w good and evil. What comic books do to you is to show you a world which you (in normal senses) could not have come up with. According to most comic book readers and fanatical bastardo’s, it is exactly what lies between a book and movies, except with a lot of attached creativity. What they mean by this is: for eg. I can become a director; I can even with a bit of extraordinary luck become an Author. But in no hells way will be able to achieve the notion which is a “comic writer/pencils/etc” that’s not the whole point though. Most Mature comics are so deceptive that you will remain astounded by them for a long spell of time. That’s probably why most comic books have no “starting” and “ends”, rather it comes in phases and by gods grace it never does stop. Most comic books which do make it to the international scenes have to be “really good”, even known Comic Writers, have to give into start from “low phase” thus making it impossible for a comical fuck up. Another thing which you will be flabbergasted by is that, even if the same characters are used by a different writer, you will never get the same “feel”. A book makes you use your imagination, a movie/serial/etc uses visual ness. A comic uses your visual imagination….

Over My life 5 OF THE BEST ISSUES I will advice anyone to read are:



Rob Zombies introduction

5.Criminal Macabre by Carl McDonald: in this book you will find where “blade/underworld” originated from. Carl McDonald has a complete diffential approach to sketching work. Must check out shit!



The Journalist of the Decade

4.Transmetropoliton by Warren Ellis: This is about spider Jerusalem. A journalist when the world really does turn shit. Absolute stunning commentary and politically patronising! Recommendation: Tales of the human waste.


IN FLESH!

3. Lucifer by Mike Carey: a lot of Sandman originating have there own series now, but none as good as Lucifer. Carey shows Lucifer how I and a lotta other people will remember him till death. Brilliantly outlaid, unprecedented approach and influenced me on keeping his name. (in Indian subcontinent, you will not find these, try downloading a few)


DREAM
2. Sandman: I actually read the sandman’s ending and lord of the rings book together, at the same span of time. Though I really do like l.o.t.r and think it’s a wonderful piece of work. Dream made Gandalf look like a chester eating cheezshit. Incomparable stuff.




1. Inferno by M.C: I picked this book up as it was written by one of my fav’s. I didn’t bother reading it at first, but when I finally got around it, I coudnt not sleep that night or the next one. This book contains within itself all what makes comics so important to many people. The whole books in black and white.. which really does add to its "hellish" effect.

It would be an understatment to say that what these guys have achieved by writing comics have been just to influence me.. its way much beyond that. To get a flicker of the amount of ceativity that goes into producing a single 23 page comic, or even one page is more than my head can handle. its beyond my reaches.. prob. most of the ppls!

THE INDIA - PAKISTAN RANT

mine is bigger than yours!

The never ending topic… which of us is better???? Who gives a flying fuck? Not long ago in Dubai, a fight broke out between my friends who used to hang out together, and launching an assault at each other’s egos (I was like a guest standing behind in this for 1ce). 1 dude broke out into the open to say these divine words, “I hate Pakistani’s” me and the other 2 Indians who where around where more shocked than the rest… where the fuck did that come from?? He went on, “I just can’t trust you guys (Pakistani’s), I have been backstabbed by too many off you”. I couldn’t resist this, “what the fuck you talking about, did they run away with a million dollars of yours?” what could he possibly mean trust…… I DON’T TRUST ANYONE IN THIS WORLD . That doesn’t mean ill start stereotyping people the way I want to just because this path has been followed by many before. The fucker is in College, did Pakistani’s come and do his parents behind his back? Anyway within a while one of the girls got a bit too emotional and the case rested there. But then my Pakistani friends took it upon themselves to split the hang out gang b/w 2 and to take the piss out of the guy upon making such a bold statement and apparently to hate him for the rest of their lives. I still crack up just like that day. Thinking about it….

I am not a social bastard; neither do I give a lughole thought about states/countries/continents, but I do have to hand it to you asswipes for creating a “hellofa something” out of a nothing:

THEY TOOK AWAY OUR LAND:

“Our”, if your reading this blog then you couldn’t have been around during the split because most of those people are dead. You didn’t even know how that place looked, felt and what’s it grown up to now. So how is it yours? Think about it. The only actual people who ever do suffer today due to partition are the people of Kashmir.

The only probable reason for the unprecedented hate can be because all of us do need something to grab and shake when we can. For Indians its Pakistani’s and vice versa. You’re pissed, wife fucking beats the crap out of you, dog pisses all over at you and you get struck by a bolt of lightning, who better to take it out than your “own” created enemy. Here is the catch and it’s the best of all, you don’t need a reason to hate someone. You do it just because your friends, priests, family and the whole god for shaken country do the same…hell yeah!

THEY WANT TO NUKE US:

my bodyguard has got a six pack.

I don’t think you deserve any better. Both sides have there own laughable share of bullshit taking place and after a lot of this piling up, it has lead to the nuke race. If you really do want to compete, compete with THE REST OF THE WORLD. Oh I forgot, your balls freeze whenever that happens, (Olympics, Cricket, life, etc) and end up complaining each other for the downfall.

5 things which Pakistan have got the upperhand on:

1. Expert Knowledge: Every literate Pakistani who I have ever met has such different opinion on the system Pakistan is running on. Guess it wont be long till we see half of them taking true legislative forms.

2. Political lifestyle: Pakistani politicians do enjoy this fruitfully, during a national meeting Navar Shareef asked his Defence Minister, “Khane Mai Aj Nehari To bani Hai na?”

it chow time!!!!!

3. Hands on Challenge: Ready to roll 24/7/52. In a toastmaster meeting during a speech, a Lahori doctor said this, “With India over 1 Billion, humph and they think the can compete with us”, me and probably 25 other Indians who witnessed this jubilant approach to whoop ass.

4. Fuck Education, Go for Glory: Pakistani education system, (national one). Has been short listed by Financial Times as “Standard” after 45 years. But what?? I want to be a hustler instead… the big Karachi Pimp... Knowwhatiamsayin????

5. Drinks First: Pakistan is the only Islamic Nation, which has a full blown underground “tharra” production of Wiskey, Rum etc. for military use and anyone who has black tinted cars.

5 Things which India Has the UpperHand on:

1. Regions: An Indian can look from anywhere b/w North to South pole. Great Camouflage.

Pride

2. Work Cheap Rates: A Chartered Accountant who could get up to 15,000 dhrms in Middle east 2 years ago would now get 5000, thanks to the cut short competition bought buy our brothers from south India. Who can slave till death.

3. Morally immaculate: On my way back from university, I took a private taxi, you wave around long enough and someone whose going your direction can stop and will be willing to drop you, as long as you chip in a bit. He was an Indian and after talking for a while, I asked if I could smoke, he looked at me like I confessed to murder and kicked me out of the car!!!!

4. Interstate Rivalry: Kerala v Tamil Nadu, U.P V Bihar, Punjab V Hariyana etc.

5. Call Centers: Mr. Dutt and Mrs. Mirta are now Mr. Smith and Ms. Hunt.

THIS IS GREAT>>>> JST GREAT

.

THE INDIAN MUSIC INDUSTRY RANT




Is it to hard to realize or is it me just fantasizing about this whole situation…. WHY THE FUCK DO WE HAVE SUCH A SHITTY MUSIC INDUSTRY????? India alone has over a billion people living in it…size of the industry to about Rs.670 crores (USD 149 million) . So it would really be a nut sack job if no 1 has ever thought about it… spilt into various parts now… lets go back when it all turned black and blue:

I remember how much I used to hate `90 Indian music scene… it was horrible, nitwitty and all the songs sounded the same. Not to mention the fact that this was probably when the whole Indian music scene went to a rubble. As most of you know.. the whole “music industry” in India is a huge asskisser of Bollywood. A assfart decides to direct a movie.. then within a span of 30 mins. (as it seems sitting at any1`s position), they infrastruct the whole music layout of the movie… probably containing 10 – 13 songs.. then a “music director” is hired who after giving much blowjobs to producers and directors gets his cut, money and an every long fame… what the fuck does he/she actually do anyway… “Arrange” music???? Are they orchestra fuelling masters??? Think about it for a moment.. what do they actually do.. they cant possibly create the “music” they cant play the million and 1 instrument which is laid down in a single Hindi album… how do they go about making it??? I really don’t get it… what I think they probably do is ... call a bunch of low lives who can formulate an orchestra (these days not needed). get them all together and tell them how “the feel” of the music should be like… but then again… I have taken intermediate classes in guitaring… and trust me…. working around a studio is not easy… but when I do actually explain this whole phenomenon to any of my non – Indian mates studying with me…. they all cant but agree….” If this is the case mate, then why doesn’t the film director tell those lowlife musicians how the “feel” is and they can come up with something”… ah but there not familiar with what that goes in thy Indian mentality phases. Reckon the director has a lotta money and pressure for the under world to do a dance no, a desi feel grove and a spontaneous rocking track… who better to get than the master music director for it who shits all day… prob. Smokes a big joint, finishes a bottle of old monk and then retires to home while the poor bastards labour for any stench of creativity.. and the hand all the finishing touches to be done by the M.D. who in act will take credit for it and earn millions more……..

THE REMIX INDUSTRY:

Hah… they call it a fuckin industry…. It is really fuckin huge… can u even think about how many versions… 1.1, 0.1 of “woh lamhe” had come out… there was a Christmas mix too… I really cannot understand how such limits can come into existence??? Have we lost all faith in any music creativity in the whole of India that we need to remix old cheesy songs for new cheesier ones??? I know there are songs coming up other than just “remix nos” but are they really needed and till what ground??? I am not much of a “party animal” and usually didn’t go to lotta Indian discs, but whenever I did... It was florted with those remix nos.. I can anticipate a remixer(not going to call him/her anything else) will probably back his creativity due to demand…. But is that how it works???

People buy what you give to them….. sooner or later no matter how shit it is… if u keep force feeding them as a “trend” they`ll get around it and end up loving it… not all people will understand why the remix industry is bad because I see it all form a musicians prospective… and I really feel what has happened is far worst than something just to pity for… we have a huge mass of talent not given way.. Just because people have stereotyped themselves…we could have been on a different level today and its all situational, because you and I didn’t take steps. That’s a common feel you can get form any musician who really does want music to survive in India would say years ago, but as I have timely but hardly realized is, change cannot be bought in small no`s but in huge… So as the “industry” booms…. The musicians cower in seasonal unemployment.

4 of the biggest Indian Music Cork suckers:



CHILD MOLESTER

4: Bappi Lehri: he trashed the music seen in the `80 with his comical songs and now he has returned. His return song was remix of his older song which I thought coundnt have sounded worst until the remixed was released. He apparently self titled himself as the “father of remix” and “… made music of today in the `80`s”


KILLERS RUNNING LOOSE!

3. Nadeem Shravan: apart form being murderers.. yeah we all know who killed that diude for a record deal and who needs to be “castrated”. I really haven’t heard a single ever good song by them.. all their songs sound like lullabies, eg. Bewaffaa ( ver 0.1, 0.2, etc). seriously don’t belong here or anywhere.


BASTARD

2. Harry Anand: with a name like a full barred Giglo you know that your in the right industry, after getting a deal done by “bade bhiya”. Harry Anand a.k.a shitface, has made some of the worst horrible remixes ever! Not to mention his voice sounds like a mule having a constipation and orgasm at the same time.

No Doubt!!!!






1. Anu Malik: The dufus! He wears the crown of bullshit music, vocals, direction, production, lyrics, you name it and you find the allocates with him. I seriously doubt that he has actually written any material by himself 100%, he single handed lifted “machine head” by deep purple and converted into “Akele ham akele tum”…

THE ULTIMATE INDIAN RANT 2.. what a girl wants.


gonna fucking sick you!


When was the last time you overheard a conversation which you where not suppose to and didnt even want to or gave a fuck cause it was a waste of your small ass life time... day before yesterday.. i overhead a conversation b/w 2 indian girls inside tube... for some apparent reason... they didnt think i was indian...(or even if they did.. didnt think that i would give a rats ass at what they where saying). 1 said, "what is up with the indian guys today yaar". "none of them have any class or are any good", the other 1 promptly slapped her on her hand and said, "what about john abraham..sign).... the 1st 1 then continued and said somtihn even more exicting to lissen about... "i think its becouse haam girls we have to teach them".. i looked at her now.... and she was drop dead serious while sayin that... she then went on her with megalomaniac talks and rampaged what any two good indian boy/father/grandfather/dog would shrud on. The god forsaken bitch didnt have an end to the list of complaint she was throwing out 1 after fuckin another... like a stack of shitless pieces of shit. then she just fucking went on to do the icing on the ice cream cake by sying this, "accha yeh batow, agar tumara boyfrnd wouldnt have met u, would he have become as sucessful as he is today, its the indian womans turn now because all they can think of is sex and themselves". damn strait it is............. to get whats comming frm me.



a friend in need... friend in doing?


I really do love indian girls... ther sweet... caring... always helpful... cheerful. after all, behind every sucessfull indian male... there is a female who is all wrapped up in sari and gives those cheerful hugges at every completion stage of life….. and I know my limits ladies and gentlemen. BUT I WILL SAY THIS: some Indian girls have gone way out of line… the fine line between love and hate… for me… lets chkem out……….

checking me out.. haha i am going to get you all.

While those babe ruth’s where talking, I noticed another guy from the Indian subcontinent listening over to what those dirtbags have to say. After a while he just started chucking and sheeplessly passing miniature smiles. I think all of us do really understand whats its about but just do not want to speak it. Some girls think there too “cool” for some of us. Some thing there only worth to guys like John Abraham and Co. (who they prob. Havnt talked to but still “love`em”). About 8/10 of these girls consist of the better looking or shall I say. “hotter” looking out of the who Indian girl lot…. This is where the PROBLEM kicks off:

All guys what hot girls. That like saying gravity exists, Every1 jst knows it so there is no agument there. Now here comes the big question. If u have read the 1st Indian rant (posted below). Why do you think most of the Indian guys do actually turn swinish and do all kind of crazy stunts? TO IMPRESS MABYE/ TO GET A GRIP ON THE NEW FAME, one of my so cheesy friend even spread out the word, he wears a freaking turban even though hez not a sardar just to be a part of that elite league. He doesn’t like it.. but hell if it attracts seedy dames.. Why not?

WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS NEED TO EVVVVN TAKE PLACE???????
Some do look good at what the make out of themselves. Other according to me and a lot of holy angles look like shit. If those girls just come out in the open and fuckin speak up that, “yeah u know, ur going to far.. ur making a fool out of urself”. BUT THEY WONT.. this is where the fuckin enjoy this whole situation the most these horrible bitches. They`ll hand pick you, make you think that what your doing is “amazing or different”, and HAVE A HUGE LAUGH AT YOU WHEN UR NOT LOOKING… trust me, seen it a lot!. Not bad, ladies. You really do know what “having some good girl fun” is. Whores!

And after this they think they have all the Indian guys under there feet. They are the new “winner” in this god forsaken sex race. Not bad ladies!. but still you will hardly seen big “players” in any part & parcel as Dames (business/ music.. etc).. BUT Y SOB SOB…… its really simple and something most girls forget to look into. There “Emotional”:

Ok didn’t get it if your one. Can you preassume me for moment fucking your mom and shoving a sick up ur dads ass. (!!!!!). Nope!. Well we guys can, we (guys) can kill, fuck, snort, talk crap without remorse, you may pretend that you can but most of you will die of the great Indian guilt. We can imagine situations like these, You cant. That’s y guys who can`t are called “pussies”. Something that you have, we don’t! and its because of this that you do step back at times and we take advantage of it… and It doesn’t have to be right… its just how things are.

"how can u even talk like this
dont u have a family"
EVERY1 wants to have sex, me and you regardless of whom or what we are. But apparently most Indian girls do find it hard to digest and want to go with the “ I am the all sweet virgin thing”, I am so proud that I am a male for this because I am so less of a hypocrite and a asswipe. I accept that fact and instead of beating around the bush get straight to the point whenever it is needed. We don’t have to cower behind a “relationship” to make sex worthily! When I was born I was given a dick first rather than religion and cheap ass social understanding of adultery or pre marital affairs. So how can you possible “educate” yourself to be one… we all know ladies that deep down you’re the same, but less reluctant to accepting this… I can even point it out in a conversation:

1. all I want is a nice guy that will make me feel special, that will listen to me and love me forever..."
- Lie. She left off the part about "and a guy that will have plenty of raunchy sex with me because that's all most girls are really looking for, but we're too shallow to admit that to you because we want to keep this 'virgin-girl' image we have going on and we don't want to sound too slutty, so we're going to pretend that all the nice guys we've met so far haven't fit the bill when in reality, they've treated us infinitely better than any guy we could ever hope to meet at a club downtown." I've said this before and I'll say it again:
GIRLS DO NOT WANT NICE GUYS…. I know there are so who actually do who are in it for the money.. Otherwise non existent.

2.“I cant find the right guy yaar, all are the same”
- LIE. I cant possibly imagne a situation of ending up with the same guy for the rest of my life

3.“I miss you(gasp)”
- LIE. I really want to have sex, but then i`ll play along with the whole “virgin” bit that I have going.

4.“I love you”
- LIE. I am going to use you and you can use me as well, but trust me i`ll get the better out of it.

5. "I've never had sex before..."
- Lie. Unless you ignore all those times I've been felt up on dates, performed and received oral, fooled around with other girls, etc etc etc. again, why do girls lie about this? It doesn't have to be coitus for it to be sex. Sex is sex. Quit trying to give people the false impression that you're innocent and pure. Just tell the truth. If you're embarrassed about it and regret doing it, then you probably shouldn't have done it in the first place. At the very least, you could respect yourself by telling the truth.

Apparent to all this it can be said that worlds unfair... so do whatever one elses does. get a bottle of jack`s and drown in it!

THIS POST WAS ACTUALLY YASEER`S WORK (mon amie) but he got busted for life... so i republished it.....

THE ULTIMATE INDIAN RANT:


"as our lives change.. cum whatever, we will still be friends forever."... our moto in life yaar



INDIA BREAD INDIAN MALES ARE BECOMING THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN MY LIFE THESE DAYS:

The time has finally come… I always knew it bloody will. Its like storing a big can off whoop ass inside your body and it explodes giving you the energy to fuck anyone mentally and physically. I have had it with the Indian way of doing shit… and if you are one, then its your lucky date with reality.. Cause it will suit on well to read through it. It all started when I was born (I guess it) and finally completely struck me day before yesterday. My work experience job finally got over and I merrily ran to the job centre to apply for a National Insurance no. As people who don’t live in the United Kingdom, without N.I you’re in a dumpster as you cannot get paid for the work you do legally. After going inside the building, I found the largest population of Indians to have ever accumulated together under one roof in London. With forms in one hand and a small pouch in another (I will not explain this), they all stared at me as I entered inside. I quickly drew out a number form that no. wending machine and waited for my turn. Within half an hour left to go their where still ten draws left but some asswipes disappeared getting tired from waiting. My chance can at a very sketchy 5 mins to go and most of you know what government services are like; I got a counter with an old aged Caucasian female was sitting, as soon as I sat down. She said “what papers do you have”. It took me by complete fuckin shock, and then I said, “I have an agencies letter as well as one for the employment”. “I am glad” she replied, her spectacles hanging at the bottom of her noose as she beamed at me through them. What the fuck is up with her, racist prick. Within moments, someone knocked at my back, it was a dude and he was showing me the ticket no. which was one behind me, “it was my chance” he said in a broken south Indian accent. I smiled, “sorry mate, but I guess u`ll have to miss out on this 1”. “But please, can I have u word with u”. Aright fuckbag, did someone jumpstart your heart right now? “the center is about to close, I have to register today otherwise I will loose this job. You’re an Indian also, at least an Asian so can you please compensate with me. I actually have children, mere battche hai”. What the fuck!!!!!. Gimme a breather time. I looked at the old hag and she was still staring at me like she was. As soon as I was going to open my mouth to say something, “Actually, I will be very great full to you if you could just do this for me”. He was pulling the chair which I was sitting on, I got up and left. What the fuck just happened there? I went and sat down where I was and started thinking what a complete clownfuck was that dude until “Mr India” came to me and said, “apne jo kara who bohat accha tha”. (what you did for him was wonderful). “Yeah cheers” with a cranky smile. “aap kahan se hain”. Why the fuck are you even talking to me? “India” I reply. “namastay, mera naam karan hai, mai India se kal aya hoon. Actually, mai Bombay se hoon, but you know aj kal Bombay bohat expensive ho gaya hai. Wasie agar aap ko bura na lage to mai ek question poch sakta hoon?. (Bullsihttin……. can I ask you a question). Before I could reply, “kya aap yahan ke hai, yeah hundistan mai raihte hai, (do u live here or in India). After telling him about where I live and shit he said “ accha, ek last sawal, aap mujhey apna ticket de sakte hain”… WHAT THE FUCK???.. why???, “actually, mera ek dost saat tha, unsne mera le lya, mujhey thodi jaldi thi, mera ek appointment hai”. I stared at him in amazement.. This asswipe doesn’t even know me, spoke dumb lines to me just like the one before and now is asking for my ticket…. I gave it too him and got the fuck out of there. I needed some insulin to get me out of this son of bitch situation caused due to unknown reasons.

What the in my worth’s name has happened and it’s just not the over all “attitude yaar” which frustrates me. It’s the whole fuckin package: u can further divide them into further sets:

1. The “cool” guy: wears his sunglasses untimely or otherwise has it on top of his head. Bright colour clothing, with words on shirts like “Who’s your daddy” and “nobody’s perfect, I am nobody”, these days 99% of them have “spiky” hairstyles or military cuts. With belt buckles resembling Spiderman.

I am super cool: i am also a DJ.. who mixed justin t
with panjabi mc.

2. Indian Intellectual: usually thin and tall, have frameless glasses. Clean shaven and pants cover ¾ of body parts. They look like pussy otherwise rapists, it would be no surprise if they use words like “fanda or fandu” to explain various situations and situational people.


fuckin orgasmic: kis me baby!!! i got the close up smile

3. Short bouncer: 30% of total population, shorter than me (real short), but have an urge to look like Arnold, “pump up” at gyms at least 2 hrs everyday to gain extra mass, which results in a resemblance to a gumball. They walk freely to protect “sisters” who they try to get raunchy with.


I looks so cute yaar... sob sob

4. Happening and party guys: gelled hair, WEAR TIGHT FADED JEANS, prob. The most exciting way to go. Not bad instead of buying & wearing down a jeans. Except, it looks like a phoney piece of shit. Recently sported by Salman Khan.



I AM GIVING THE "MY CAR" POSE YAAR

If already in the topic, why isn’t anything changing. With songs like “just chill”, “rock and roll soneye” and “shez a rocks tar”, only the lyrical advances are. But to what heights. I know Katrina kaif is a starchy dame but, why does she have to team up with “Sal” and dance like a rodeo fest number. IT’S ALL DOWN TO THE FLOW OF TRANSACTIONAL PROFITS. Dipshits know that they are not talented anyway, and why give space to some as long as we are ruling. It’s probably because we also have LEANED TO GIVE UP AND LIVE IN PAST. How many of you muckrakes still reflect in relation to guns and roses as the “heavy stuff”. I was even told by an Indian dickfart once that he had computer confirmation that slash was Punjabi. I know they where good, but there fucking gone mate, just like deep purple, Bryan Adams, pink Floyd, bon jovi. Move on bastards, I don’t say that they are no good anymore. I say that you just don’t want to advance to the next stage of music game. This is where the whole “talent” concept comes in which I pulled before. Many say that India’s “versatile” talent will pave the way to the future... Hah. It’s probably up our rectum rite now. After being in Delhi and seeing the Indian Music seen, there are no more examples needed rather than this. The masses always follow up what happing around its neighbourhood, In India in the “Indi – Metal” acts (trust me mate, I have been in a band there) there are an actual try to repeat; oh wait let me rephrase, parody of older `70 musicians of the metal music. So you will almost certainly eyewitness someone trying to pull a Rob Halford’s squeal, if you go through a couple of music concerts around. To top it all off, when they have to make an effort and put this off, they will always bring in a more “English” vocal to the whole phenomenon. Wake up Lardshits, listen to any of junoon’s new song and think of Ali Azmat’s impact as he sings in Urdu and compare it to an older song which they have made with him singing in English. U`ll get my point.

There is a lot of blame left out here and it would be a pity to ignore the responsiveness of Indian girls in this anomaly. But that’s anther tale for another day.,,,,,,